Today marks the start of a new chapter in my life – taking my presence to an online platform! At the same time, today is the closing of a monumental long chapter – my PhD journey. What an interesting ceremony indeed! Throughout the entire (still ongoing) covid-19 pandemic there has been no physical graduation ceremony, and so my University decided to do a ‘graduation extravaganza’ for all graduates of past 3 years. Mine was a 2.5hrs morning slot at St. Mary’s Stadium. On entering the stadium, I was lumped with 30ish other PhD graduands (looking rather like oddballs amongst the mostly black attires). I only spotted 2 of my colleagues receiving their Music PhDs (only finding out later that my other colleagues have been assigned to ceremonies on different days). The procedures were in some ways humorous: graduands grouped together in their awarding subjects, walking from one end of the stadium onto a ‘stage’, pausing for <1 second ‘on camera’, then walking off the stage to the other end of the stadium. Us PhDs (from multiple disciplines) were the last to be called, and generously spaced to allow for a few more seconds of fame.

Contrary to all the graduation ceremonies I have been to and fantasied about, this one did no reading out of our names, no reading out of thesis titles, and no shaking of hands (though us docs shook each other’s hands). But the ceremony was somewhat special. My front-row seat saw staff parading in their academic dress, and I waved to one of my supervisors as he walked past. After that, countless undergraduates and postgraduates queued and walked past, chattering in excitement with one another, whilst looking for their loved ones in the spectators’ zone. Some commented on the fanciness of our hats, and brilliance in colour of our gowns (a great reason why one should do a PhD!). It was a moment of shared happiness.

Flashback to 2011: I stood next to Professor Neil Heyde, him in his doctorate gown, and I in my bachelors. I boldly made a wish on Facebook: that in 6 years’ time I will be able to wear what he is wearing. Flash forward to present time: obviously my PhD journey has taken much longer than 6 years. Would one have been able to finish a PhD in 6 years? Probably, but not in my timeline. Though the journey of finishing a doctorate was strenuous, I made it in the end – with the help and support of those around me. A dear friend wrote:

“I remember how you compared yourself to others who seemingly grazed into getting their PhD. Doesn’t matter what others achieve. You achieved this & I am so proud of you for reaching your dream.”

My dream, yes, getting a PhD was my dream come true, this dream fulfilled through successes as well as failures. Successes we often celebrate, but failures not. Taking a moment to reflect on these years, I have ‘failed’ countless of times: being confused, procrastinated, given up on tasks; and sometimes failures are not one’s own doing. By being reminded about dreams and passions, and persisting and overcoming hurdles, I was able to find breakthroughs to move forward. This cycle, as Angela Duckworth writes in Grit, is what sprouts success:

“Passion for your work is a little bit of discovery, followed by a lot of development, and then a lifetime of deepening.”

Angela Duckworth, Grit: Why passion and resilience are the secrets to success (London: Penguin Random House, 2017), p. 124

In my upcoming blogs, I will be posting and sharing about challenges encountered in one’s PhD journey. For now, I stamp the closure of this chapter with thanking my dear supervisor, David Owen Norris. He couldn’t make the ceremony because of train cancellations due to the massive heatwave in UK (reaching 40 degrees yesterday!). There are many others to thank of course, but David, you have been truly wonderful. Thank you for being encouraging, inspiring, and speaking truths at times when I talk nonsense. You are my role model, and I aspire to be as good of a supervisor to my students as you have been to me.